In the Pink

It was as I waited for the lights and the inevitable 'beep beep beep beep' of the crossing that I noticed her. Like the song she was ' carrying her home in two carrier bags',but to be accurate she was pushing them on a makeshift trolley. The wild flamingo pink hair shone amongst the commuters. As she levelled on the crossing with me I glanced over, her face was weathered and tanned, mouth in constant movement.

"It's a hap-hap-happy day Toobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-lay F' you 'n me f' us 'n webuh All the, errr, clouds habe rollid away It's a hap-hap-happy day Toobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-lay De sun shines brite 'n the, uh, the world's so rite."

A little skip accompanied the last line. I couldn't decide whether Pink lady was either under or over medicated. She was happy on this Spring day, and oblivious to others. I found a vantage point and watched her dance and skip her way.

"It's a hap-hap-happy day Four 'n twebuhnty sunbeams Are dancigg round my face Four score 'n twebuhnty more Are dancigg ebehy place It's a hap-hap-happy day Toobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-oobble-lay You can't go wrong if you sigg dis song It's a hap-hap-happy day."

I got caught in a combination of Roadworks and One way system on the way out of Town and had to circle it twice. I saw Pink Lady again while I was slow moving. She' d found her patch and was pacing and circling. Looking in the rear view mirror she did one of those sideway skips that I've only ever seen on the movies and that was the last I saw of her.

Cake

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too!"

Why the hell not? Of course you're going to eat the cake if you have it, otherwise it will rot. Yeah right, and I'm going to watch a cake rot? In your dreams.

What idiot thought up such a phrase to apply it to something that was bad?

Why the hell should I have cake if I can't eat it, too? I want pie and meat and potatoes and gravy. Am I supposed to sit and stare at a table full of food begging me to eat it like some kind of monastic self-flagellator?I don't think so.

I make my own culinary choices, I'll have you know!

John Keats is growing on me by the minute. He wrote "Eat your cake and have it too". Andrew Motion in the biography reckons he turned into Dr Cake. How apt. Shame he died so young. Did the cake have anything to do with it?

Ok, lets get this straight, you can eat your cake and not have it, have your cake and not eat it, but the trick is to eat your cake and have it too.

In fact as Easter is here I am also going to eat all the eggs. Look no further, I am the very person that ate all the pies.I will eat all the cake.

Doing well

Edith was thinking how well she was doing on her 90th birthday extinguishing the candles on her cake and then she looked down to realise her tits were dangling in the trifle.